They made your hands clammy, your knees quiver, and sent your hormones spinning when you were a dyke-in-training. It’s time to pay homage at the altar of dyke icons. It's been 15 long years since our favourite bit of posh played gay, and now she's at it again in Tell No One!

Name:
Kristin Scott Thomas 

Also known as:
The posh one. 

Not to be confused with:
Any number of soigné French actresses of a certain age.

Last seen:
Lezzing it up in Tell No One, Guillaume Canet's startling new thriller which is about to be released.

Best feature:
She's a smoky-eyed, husky-voiced, take-no-prisoners tigress of the screen. 

Candy Bar or Kenric?
Darling, she's an OBE and a member of the Légion d'honneur and she probably wouldn't be caught dead in either of those two places. Sorry.

Most likely to:
Say one of her favourite lines from Tell No One: "My wife is expecting me".

Least likely to:
Fart in a lift.

Is she a sista?
No! The tragedy! Whilst she makes an excellent lesbian on screen, she is married to a man, has a bunch of kids and is about as heterosexual as you can get in real life.

Phwoarrr rating?
High, though she's somewhat intimidating in her poshness.

Do mention:
Kristin Scott Thomas got on of her first screen breaks acting in diminutive pop start Prince's much maligned film project Under the Cherry Moon, and later played a lesbian in Roman Polanski's Bitter Moon. None of this stopped her from becoming phenomenally successful and she won the Best Actress Oscar in 1996 for The English Patient.

Don't mention:
The whole excruciating Top Gear Jeremy Clarkson thing (he really fancies her and doesn't care who knows). Either she doesn't mind hanging around with morons or she needs to find some better mates.

Kristin Scott Thomas last played a lesbian in Roman Polanski's black comedy Bitter Moon. Check it out online and save money!