They made your hands clammy, your knees quiver, and sent your hormones spinning when you were a dyke-in-training. It’s time to pay homage at the altar of dyke icons. Enough with the rehab jokes already, this big-haired, award-winning songstress is top of our pops.

Name:
Amy Jade Winehouse Fielder-Civil

Also known as:
The one who said No No No when they wanted her to go to rehab.

Not to be confused with:
Freddie Mercury (look closely, there is a slight resemblance when the light is right) or Macy Gray.

Last seen:
Getting married, winning awards and sporting the most gigantic beehive in the history of hair.

Best feature:
The voice, the songs, the tattoos - in roughly that order.

Candy Bar or Kenric?
Neither, she's out of our league these days, baby.

Most likely to:
Be a bit, er, "eccentric", which is media code for "highly strung" which is a polite way of saying that she possibly has various mental issues going on.

Least likely to:
Go to rehab, ha ha ha.

Is she a sista?
Nope, even though she displays all the evidence of being one of us – the tattoos of naked ladies, the growly voice, the idiosyncratic hair – she just got married to a guy and is apparently very happy about that. Mind you, she is quoted as saying: "I’m not a lesbian, though — not before a sambuca anyway." Whose round is it?

Phwoarrr rating?
Medium. On a plumpalicious day there's no one hotter than Amy, but these days she's looking quite thin and ill.

Do mention:
In a world where women singers are more likely to be anodyne and airbrushed, Amy Winehouse is like a shot of pure bourbon. Although clearly battling her own demons, her songs and performances are unforgettable. Let's hope that this bright star doesn't burn out before her time.

Don't mention:
When she was ten years old, Amy Winehouse was one half of a rap duo called Sweet 'n' Sour. She was Sour.

Read our review of Back to Black.

Get Back to Black by Amy Winehouse and find out what all the fuss is about. Buy online and save money.