It's 11.30pm on Friday Night. 548 men online. Are you up for it? At last, the smash hit Warehouse Theatre production of Matthew Todd's topical drama about love, sex and gay pride comes to the West End for a strictly limited season.

On the eve of London’s Gay Pride day and their anniversary, thirty something gay couple Nigel and Jamie log onto the internet and decide to celebrate with Cumboy_17. As with so many online purchases, once delivered the couple begin to question whether a night of casual sex is exactly what their relationship needs.

We caught up with the author top find out more.

Blowing Whistles premiered back in July 2003, how has the play evolved since then?
That seems like a lifetime ago now. When we did it then it was a workshop production. We didn’t have big budgets so the set was minimal and it was all a bit rushed. It was fun though and I am, incredibly grateful to everyone involved for that opportunity. It was great to see what worked and what didn’t but it’s very different now. It was only an hour and about fifteen minutes then and now it’s just over 2 hours long.

So, what’s changed?
We used to have a big scene at Pride when the couple have a row, which we’ve lost altogether now. You hear about it, but don’t see it. It’s funny because the Pet Shop Boys came to see the play, which I was massively excited about as their work has always inspired me, and Neil emailed me to say how much he enjoyed the Pride scene. So we cut it! Lol. I told him recently when I interviewed him and he said, ‘Show’s what I know’.

That wasn’t really the reason we cut it, but it made me laugh anyway.

So, lots more research on Gaydar and causal encounters? LOL.
How very dare you! Actually not really, no. Just as it went on originally I met my last boyfriend so we were just getting together then – we split up last year after two years. All his mates are convinced we must have met in some wild cyber way – but we didn’t, we met in a bar.

He’s one of my very closest friends now and he’s got a lovely new boyfriend and it’s all very modern and sophisticated and we all go round saying ‘look at us, aren’t we clever’ and then I flagellate myself like Ruth Kelly. No, I’m kidding. I do have a Gaydar profile, ya know there’s blood in my veins and I chat to people, but the fantasy is always better than the reality I think. Web meeting tends to involve the same people over and over and it’s easy to get bored of it.

“I do have a Gaydar profile, ya know there’s blood in my veins and I chat to people, but the fantasy is always better than the reality I think.”

Are you still tinkering with the play or has it finally been put to bed, as it were?
Well it’s been published now and is on sale on Amazon and from the theatre for this run as well as in the States soon, but I’ve put a note saying that I think it should always be updated for different places.

I’ve made a few changes so it’s relevant to EuroPride this year. I love the idea of it being done by students in 20 years at the Edinburgh festival as a little slice of how things were for some of us in the noughties. And the actors always come up with crazy little things all the time, which make everyone laugh.

The play questions whether a night of casual sex is really what the characters’ relationship needs? So, does casual sex help or hinder a relationship?
Um, I think it’s down to the individual couples. When I first wrote it I thought open relationships were the devils work but I have softened my view a bit. I’m a very romantic person and I would love to meet someone and just stay with them forever, but realistically I don’t know if that happens for most people. I’d like to think so but I don’t know if that’s just a rose tinted view of things.

I think people often turn to threesomes when their relationship isn’t working that well, but then I think it’s more about how you do it, and how you respect yourself, your partner and the other person. If it works for you then great - you slags!

Of course, we now have Civil Partnership legislation. Has this altered your attitude to the characters’ relationship at all?
No, not really within the context of Blowing Whistles but I do think its changed things completely. I’ve been to a fantastic wedding which was incredible and very, very moving and I think what’s funny is that at a time when we keep being told how rubbish marriage generally is, that gay people are taking to it like ducks to water.

I don’t see it as aping heterosexuality at all. It’s two people cementing their relationship before their community of family and friends so that they have those legal benefits that married people do. Call me Catherine Cookson, but I actually think it’s a beautiful thing, I really do.

You see a lot of cynical gay people who poo poo the idea then they actually go along to a wedding, blub and come back converted. I also think it’s important the law is changed and we can call it marriage. It will happen at some point I’m sure.

“I think people often turn to threesomes when their relationship isn’t working that well, but then I think it’s more about how you do it, and how you respect yourself, your partner and the other person.”

As a piece of legislation celebrating same-sex relationships, do you think it will change gay attitudes towards sex?
I don’t know about sex. Gay men are men so we’ll always be crazily sexual but I do think it will change our attitude to our relationships.

We now have another landmark to reach. I think that’s freaked some people who’ve never had to think of a legal contract in that way and now it’s on the table. I think it’s beautiful that two people can declare to the community (wider, not just gay) that they are a couple.

It’s ironic that homophobes have said for year that gay marriage would destabilize society when it does the complete opposite; it actually strengthens the institution of marriage because it shows we back it. We want to have those bonds. Funny.

Can gay men be monogamous?
Argh. Which ones in particular? Is this a case by case strategy? Yes, if they want to. I think it’s a bit of a cop out to say men are men, although it’s true we have those testosterone rampages. But if you want to not cheat you can do. It’s not that hard, just don’t put yourself in those situations. Don’t go online ‘for chat’ (yeah, right) and don’t hang around in bars and clubs on your own and then be surprised when you end up meeting someone. Cool if that’s what you want to do, but I think honesty is the most important thing.

If you are a cheat then don’t see this play, it will freak you out. You always know who has the dodgy relationships in the audience because they come out as white as a sheet.

Nigel and Jamie celebrate their 10th anniversary with the rather entertaining Cumboy_17. I keep checking, but the profile still doesn’t exist. Aren’t you tempted to set it up?
I think we did once when it was a slightly different name. We were saying we were a 17 year old boy with a great body, huge dick and all that goes with it. We got bombarded. I think we crashed the system.

I was shocked by all the kids who send you messages when you say, ‘Safe sex: sometimes’. It’s devastating. I think that as a community we’ve let gay kids down - that’s us as a straight community and the wider society in general.

We don’t educate them, we can’t face them, schools don’t even acknowledge they exist; then we throw them into the gay scene usually without any support after years of pain and negativity - and then we’re surprised when they get affirmation from fucking anything that moves and have a casual attitude about condoms. We don’t care about them so they don’t care about themselves. That’s the end of it.

I find that devastatingly sad and it makes me angry. Let’s fucking change it. 10% of gay men in London are positive. How has that happened? It’s unbelievable.

“It’s ironic that homophobes have said for year that gay marriage would destabilize society when it does the complete opposite; it actually strengthens the institution of marriage because it shows we back it.”

Blowing Whistles is part of the EuroPride 06 festival. What does gay pride mean to you?
It means lots of different things to me now I'm a little older. It was massively important to me when I was younger, but now gay culture is just about shopping, like everything else. That’s why Brighton is so popular because it’s not commercial, it’s not people validating themselves by wearing Prada, it’s more real.

Will you be out on the streets for the EuroPride Parade on Saturday 1 July?
I’ll definitely go along - I like fun. I’m sure it’ll be colourful and loud and actually I think it’ll probably mean a lot more than it has for years because there’ll be a lot of people from Europe who can’t join in a Pride march in their own country.

On the other hand I understand that some people don’t want to parade down the street. I’m not a big parader these days.

And will you be blowing a whistles?
Only if hell freezes over and I skate over it with the Pope straddling my face. I hope I don’t sound like some librarian. I do actually have fun sometimes, but it just seems to me the world is on the brink at the moment in so many ways and we all have to try to do something about it.

“If you are a cheat then don’t see this play, it will freak you out. You always know who has the dodgy relationships in the audience because they come out as white as a sheet.”

When we last spoke you said that you couldn’t see what there was to be proud of in gay culture as it was all about consumerism, “quick sex and being as fucked up as you can possibly be”. What’s your attitude now?
Christ, I sound like Simon Fanshawe. We’re having a big debate with him after the show on 9 July by the way. I think there’s a lot of clever gay kids who are dealing with less shit than the generation before and some of them have their heads screwed on – literally, if they come out via Gaydar - and I think everything is about consumerism these days, it’s not just a gay thing.

We believe that happiness is about what we can buy and wear and have in our homes. Thy think it’s about being cool and it’s just a lie. How can what you buy make you a better person? It’s absolute bullshit. Look at the people who have made a difference in the world.

Would Martin Luther King be worried about wearing Gucci sunglasses? Consumer culture is fucking us all in the ass and when it comes to gay people we couldn’t be happier to go along with it. You slap a rainbow flag on any old bit of tat and we seem to want to wave it, wear it or shove it up our arses.

These days I’m more concerned about global warming and the fact that the whole of the world is under attack from certain American corporations who have paid for Global warming evidence to be buried for years.

Where do you stand on the whole gay theatre debate? Is it a necessary genre of drama or a ghettoizing of theatre in general?
I don’t really like that term. I think my play is theatre, not gay theatre. You don’t have to be gay to connect with it. You see a lot of gay plays which are just full of clichés about sex and bumming on the heath that kind of enjoy sticking two fingers up at straight people, saying ‘Ooh this is for us, girls’.

I think good drama speaks to people regardless of sexuality because it’s about making a relationship work. I’m always amazed at the amount of straight people who can’t believe they enjoyed Blowing Whistles; that they can be moved by a relationship of two people who don’t have the same sexuality as they do. As a gay man, we have to do it ninety percent of the time.

So, what’s the biggest cliché about gay drama?
Sex and flesh. I mean, I like seeing a hot actor strip off as much as the next perve, but it always makes me feel a bit dirty, like I need a hot shower with a scrubbing brush. When we first did the play there was a scene where the Cumboy character comes out naked and of course everyone goes quiet as 80 pairs of eyes zoom in on one thing. It was like a Superman heat beam moment. I expected his crotch to burst into flames, like when you burn ants with a magnifying glass.

One night all you could hear from out of the darkness was some old man going, ‘Ohhhh, verrrry nice’. Lol. It wasn’t my proudest artistic moment.

“I like seeing a hot actor strip off as much as the next perve, but it always makes me feel a bit dirty, like I need a hot shower with a scrubbing brush.”

You’re also a successful stand up comic. Are you off to Edinburgh this year?
No, I haven’t done much stand up in the last year because I’ve been focusing on writing so much. I’m going back to it in the Autumn if I can write some new material, but I’m planning on being very different from what I was before.

There’s a host of gay comedy nights opening up around London. Do you prefer performing to predominantly gay or straight audiences?
It’s just about them being a good audience or not. I think gay audiences are often really keen to go with it and have a good time but if they sense fear, get a whiff of blood, they are like piranhas. Straight audiences can be a bit more laid back but it all depends on the crowd.

And finally, what are your plans for the future? Any new plays in the pipeline?
I have two more plays in my head that I’m desperate to write. One’s gay but the other one, which I want to do next, is not gay at all. I think I've found a way of making a really good story out of an important subject that people would expect to be boring.

First off though I'm working on a novel which is a thriller and not gay - although there’s a gay character. I’m very excited but I just have to force myself to write, there’s so many distractions!

Find out more at www.blowingwhistles.co.uk.

Read our review of Blowing Whistles and our original interview with Matthew Todd way back in July 2003!

Blowing Whistles, by Matthew Todd
Sound Theatre
Swiss Centre
10 Wardour Street
London, W1D 6QF
0870 290 0503 / www.seetickets.com

20 June-15 July 2006

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