As part of its celebrations of 30 years of lesbian, gay and queer theatre and performance, the Drill Hall has commissioned Everett Quinton, star of New York's legendary Ridiculous Theatrical Company, to write and star in an unpredictable antidote to panto.

Bitch Slapped by God is a one-man show with over 50 characters, a host of custom-made puppets, lots of outrageous props, a two-minute version of A Christmas Carol and, of course, the unique talents of Everett Quinton for whom outlandish is normal.

One thing is certain: once you've been hit in the face by this brand-new farce, the festive season will never seem quite the same again!

We caught up with Everett to find out more about the play, his love of Old Compton Street and getting punched by Eartha Kitt!

Tell us a little about Bitch Slapped by God. What can people expect?
The show features a protest march by a million Santas, their mass-murder by the CIA, a host of nursery-rhyme characters and a ton of razor-sharp satire about the Bush administration. It’s a humorous political satire for Christmas.

It’s been described as an “antidote to panto”. So what’s wrong with panto?!
Pantomime is fabulous - I wish we had it in America. I called the show a ‘rantomime’ because it’s a kinda creepy world we live in now. To me, it’s a reaction to the dangerous swing to the right in American and British politics, like the misuse of the Patriot Act and the erosion of civil liberties. It’s an attempt to inject some joy into these difficult times we live in.

It sounds rather unpredictable and anarchic. Will we be laughing and thinking at the same time?
I hope so!

The show uses a host of custom-made puppets. What is it that attracts you to puppetry?
There are 50 characters and dozens of puppets. Eureka (the director) is a master puppeteer, and puppets were part of her interpretation of the play. We consulted Peter Glanville (artistic director of Little Angel Theatre) and he recommended Andy Jones, who’s creating some of the most beautiful puppets. It’s a joy to work with him.

I love puppets - some of my best boyfriends are puppets! So I’m perfectly at home sticking my hand... [laughter]

I also hear there are lots of outrageous props! Can you say anymore?
There are tons of fabulous props but I can’t tell you too much or else it’d be like opening your Christmas presents early and spoiling the surprise. One character finds a very yummy, dirty book that changes his life. You’ll have to come and see the show.

"I love puppets - some of my best boyfriends are puppets! So I’m perfectly at home sticking my hand..."

As the writer and performer of Bitch Slapped what were you trying to achieve with the production?
A rollicking good night out at the theatre.

What are you most proud of about the show?
All of it - and the whole creative team I’m working with. I’m really thankful of this opportunity.

It's a one-man show - how do you find the energy to keep going?
Coffee is God spelt backwards.

The play was commissioned by The Drill Hall. Are there any plans for its future?
They’re keeping me in scones all winter. The contract mentions the Australian rights so I’m dying to get Bitch Slapped in Sydney - and hope to do the laundry of an Australian rules football team.

What was it like touring with Eartha Kitt and Deborah Gibson in the American tour of the Rodgers and Hammerstein musical Cinderella?
They were both amazing ladies to work with.

Did you ever get to make Eartha purr?
Eartha had this way that she would punch you if she liked you. So I knew she liked me when I got the punch one day.

You cross-dressed in the show as the Wicked Stepmother. Was this a nod to panto, or a brave move on the part of the producers for such a family show?
It’s not really a nod to panto as it’s not an American tradition and wouldn’t have been in his thinking. The director wanted me, and I made it through the audition process. You should’ve seen me and 39 women dancing at the callback! They had to do a hard-sell to convince the Rodgers and Hammerstein estate. I guess they must’ve approved me at one of the callbacks.

It must have been a very different experience from your time as the artistic director of The Ridiculous Theatrical Company. Did it ever feel like you'd sold your soul to the commercial theatre?
No, I was grateful for the work. I got pretty great roles in nice plays. It’s fun to work with big guns, but it’s also great to come back and have the opportunity to do my own play.

"Eartha (Kitt) had this way that she would punch you if she liked you. So I knew she liked me when I got the punch one day."

What are you most looking forward to about visiting London?
Old Compton Street - my favourite place in the world - and Marks and Spencer’s orange marmalade. And if I’m lucky, both at the same time!

So, how would you describe yourself in a personals ad?
Look me up.

So if you were a play, what play would you be?
That’s a hell of a question to ask an illiterate.

And finally, what's next for you?
Back to trusting in God.

Bitch Slapped By God, an apocryphal Christmas Carol written and performed by Everett Quinton Drill Hall 1
16 Chenies Street
London, WC1E 7EX
020 7307 5060 / www.drillhall.co.uk

5 December 2007-6 January 2008. Please note, that all performances have now been cancelled.

Want more? Then buy Something for the Boys: Musical Theatre and Gay Culture by John M. Clum. Get it online and save some money to put towards Alan Sinfield's excellent book Out on the Stage: Lesbian and Gay Theatre in the Twentieth Century.