Clementine is a regular on the gay and cabaret scene, has gained fantastic reviews at the Edinburgh and London International Mime festivals and even had her own mini series on ITV1. Well known for shunning the paparazzi, Clementine is preparing to talk about her life story for the first time!

From her magical 'birth' in a sinister doll factory, her meteoric rise to the status of global brand, dominating the nurseries of the world, to her recent downturn in sales following the credit crunch, she's telling it all - and guess what? She's turning it into a musical!

We caught up with Clementine to find out more about the show, her plastic boyfriend Ben Doll and puppetry for adults!

You’re preparing to talk about you life story for the first time! What made you decide to do this?
Three very good reasons:

1. The press seem fascinated by girls who are partly plastic, that lovely girl named after a river for instance. I am 100% plastic, so the press are 100% more interested in me. I have finally bowed to their constant pressure and have decided to part my curtains for the gentlemen of the press.

2. My loyal fans have given me so much love over the years that it seems only right that I give back to them.

3. Cash.

The show’s described as puppetry for adults. What should we expect?!
Puppetry for adults is having something of a revival at the moment isn’t it with the lovely Cul de sac Q in its third year and that other thing at the National Theatre, um, Clothes Horse

Personally I loathe puppets - I’m only using them as the Chippendales were too expensive, what with the soaring price of crude baby oil.

My show could be summed up in two words - glamorous entertainment! It’s my life story from rags to riches told with singing, dancing and fantastic costume changes. It’s a multi media event with film sequences too! And me. Live on stage!

What’s the most difficult thing about being a walking talking singing dancing living fashion doll?
Not being able to reach a single knob - revolving doors are easy.

"My show could be summed up in two words - glamorous entertainment! It’s my life story from rags to riches told with singing, dancing and fantastic costume changes."

What’s your favourite item in your wardrobe?
Humm, that’s a tough one. I would have to be my wardrobe itself. You see, it acts as a kind of portal to worlds of adventure, for I can dress up and be anything I like - ballerina, movie star, astronaut, proctologist. All I have to do is put on the outfit and poof - no offence - I’m that person and can live their life.

It’s a bit like Mr Benn meets Narnia with the Tardis thrown in.

What was the last item of clothing you brought?
A backless frontless evening strap by the designer Theirry Muggler. It lifts and separates, holds you in and pushes you out! In the words of that euphemistic AD on TV, “It keeps everything where you would want it to be!” Trouble is I can’t work out how to put it on!

What are your extravagances?
Well, not what you would imagine! I have luxurious plastic penthouses, beach houses and mansions all over the world, cars, boats, planes and more clothes than you could shake a sweatshop at. I was designed for luxury, so I find extravagance in simple things- like those precious moments I spent with my personal trainer, Sven, the doll u like to bend.

What is your most diva-like demand?
Simply that everything is perfect at all times! Now you could hardly call that unreasonable, could you honey?

So, tell us a bit about your boyfriend, Ben Doll.
Ben Doll is my dream date and we have been dating now for, well, several decades and I still haven’t gotten to first base. Not that that is important to me you understand - we share so many interests!

Did you know that Ben is my stylist? He designs all my stage clothes and co-ordinates all his outfits to match mine. When we are shopping together he even tries on dresses for me so I can see how they look, without bothering with a mirror….

"Personally I loathe puppets - I’m only using them as the Chippendales were too expensive, what with the soaring price of crude baby oil."

Is he a bit of an action man in bed?
How would I know? We are still ‘taking it slowly” as he calls it. Most evenings I pretend to cook a fantastic feast and after we have pretended to eat it, Ben generally pops over to see his good friend Action Dan. You know? The soldier doll with big gripping hands and push button pecs. They go hunting teddy bears in the woods. They are always shooting off together.

Which comes first for you: sex or love?
I am a love doll, not a sex doll, next question….

Who do you have a secret crush on?
I have eyes only for Ben - we were designed for each other (though did you see that ex swimmer guy on Strictly Come Dancing the other week? He had a huge personality and that fish net shirt really showed it off!)

Is it better to give or receive?
My friend and neighbour Cut Out Candy (the overweight paper doll – it’s genetic apparently) says that it depends if its Thrush or diamonds. Now she’s laughing so hard that her Malibu has shot right out of her nose. Serve her right

What’s in your bedside table?
Double D batteries, rubber gloves and a length of plastic tubing. Why? Well if the pressures of being a global brand and glamour icon get too much for me and I can’t sleep, I love to pop the batteries in my torch, slip into my rubber gloves and do some lovely midnight housework! The tubing comes in handy as a make shift vacuum cleaner - and it’s silent so you don’t wake the staff. All you do is suck and you will be surprised at how much you can pick up! Though it does help if you have a removable head like mine, to empty it out afterwards.

"Ben generally pops over to see his good friend Action Dan. You know? The soldier doll with big gripping hands and push button pecs. They go hunting teddy bears in the woods. They are always shooting off together."

And finally, what’s next for you?
Gosh, so many things. I have a regular video diary on the BBC website. Go to www.bbc.co.uk/norfolk and you’ll find me under Entertainment, Film and Animation. I’m working on my own TV show format with a lovely production company in Soho and next month I become a language teacher in a new online LGBT magazine called Polari. Oh! And then there is my theatre show! It’s on very soon at the Drill Hall on the 2 November at 4pm. It’s a work in progress at the moment, and the plan is to produce a full length musical spectacular there next year.

Speaking of which, Ben is modelling my fantastic finale costume at the moment and I had better get it off him before he stretches the crotch.

Clementine: The Living Fashion Doll, written and performed by Mark Mander
The Drill Hall
16 Chenies Street
London, WC1E 7EX
2 November 2008 at 4pm

020 7307 5060 / www.drillhall.co.uk

Want more? Then buy Something for the Boys: Musical Theatre and Gay Culture by John M. Clum. Get it online and save some money to put towards Alan Sinfield's excellent book Out on the Stage: Lesbian and Gay Theatre in the Twentieth Century.